A Heavyweight Battle

Here's what I learned from striving for the slimmest waist and a knockout figure.

Date: January-February 2006

Publication: Candy Magazine

Section and Page: Reality Bites, p.76

Publisher: Summit Media

Some go for cigarettes, some go for alcohol, but for me food is heaven.

Living in a society where being model-thin is equated with beauty was not easy for someone born overweight. In movies, being fat comes with two stereotypes: the bullies and the losers. Being an introvert who’s allergic to fights, I knew I belonged to the second type. Blame it on our housemaid’s ability to whip up mouth-watering dishes; I eat anything served before me—and leave a clean plate!

It started when a stranger (who turned out to be my teacher’s husband) made me, and other “chosen ones” in class, dance in front of our classmates! The setup was four overweight girls on stage, while the lucky ones (who chose not to eat what their mother cooked for them) were a giggling audience of a circus show. That day, I did not only hate my body. Worse, my self-esteem sunk with the Titanic .

Being fat could have been okay, but being the fattest is another story. Not only were my 15 kabarkadas slim, I also grew up with two stick-thin sisters. My eldest sister credited her early dislike for milk as the reason for her slender build. My younger sister was also born plump, but she easily lost the pounds because she was picky with food.

Things changed when I was in third year high school. It was promenade year, the juniors’ chance to dress up in their princess-like gowns. I started to get conscious. I wanted to look good, and I thought that meant being slimmer. I also thought that meant resorting to crash diets.

Wanting to instantly lose weight, my first diet was based on the most common misconception of wannabe weight losers– Sky Flakes or nothing. I thought that the lesser you eat, the thinner you get. Another strange diet plan I’ve tried with a friend was consuming only turon during breaks. My other alternative plan was to be a “fruitarian”, but as I soon learned, eating fruits on an empty stomach could result in hyperacidity. I’ve also attempted drinking hot tea every night, hoping to improve my digestion, but this plan completely backfired and resulted in the exact opposite. I’ve also tried eating five pieces of calamansi every night to dissolve all the food I’d eaten during the day, but it only gave me LBM. One sacrifice I’ve made just to get a model-thin figure was to be a vegetarian. But I knew I wasn’t doing it out of genuine concern for animals, because after months of eating nothing but vegetables, I was able to eat meat again without any guilt.

At 19, I’m still very much into dieting. Although a lot of relatives and friends have started noticing my weight loss, I still follow the most effective advice from a former classmate: the low-carbohydrates diet—eating less bread and almost no rice at all. For tips and encouragement, I joined an Internet support group for teens on a diet. My mom is also more supportive now, allowing me to skip eating rice even if she’s against it.

Thank God that even with my diet obsessions, I never became anorexic. Although I’ve always desired to lose weight, I never lost my love for food. The important key for anyone who wants to try dieting is discipline. Stick to your plan, and resist temptation. Never do this alone. Ask help from your friends and family. They would be very good cheerleaders –encouraging you, giving you tips, and celebrating even your smallest victories.

Lastly, I wouldn’t simply say “love yourself any way you are.” If that were the case, I wouldn’t have tried dieting. But it’s completely different to say “love yourself from the inside”. It’s okay to seek improvement, but know your limitations. Don’t go overboard and starve yourself to death. You are beautiful just as you are. Feel it, act it out, and you’ll definitely learn to see it. C

note: this is my first published article in a glossy magazine :)